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[[ 2007 22 February | 05:07am ]] |
Sorry for being a bit of a hermit. Been focusing on work which has been going quite brilliantly.
I probably won't post here again. Found out that all the old school have moved over to MySpace so set up an account there.
Reach me at: http://www.myspace.com/julienshinagami
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| Time Dilation or Senility? |
[[ 2006 14 October | 12:11am ]] |
Well this summer was nothing if not interesting. A lot of past catching up type things from years ago when everything started going south. Had a rather unpleasant stint of wage garnishments from our government, the inability to renew my license due to something from about five years ago, and various other pleasantries.
I have, essentially, been keeping my head low these last few months. Because I know what happens when bad things come around and after all the help my family (who are all friends) gave me the last thing I wanted was to create another bad situation I needed to be rescued from. So I have been holding my own and not hurting anybody this time around as I get my life bace together.
Though not much of a life I am sad to say. I am so out of place down here in the OC. Everybody I know and everything I know is waaaay up in LA or Burbank...
Blorg. I was going to go into a long diatribe about stuff. But it would be a waste of bits and bytes. Julien is completely disconected and having a difficult time trying to reconnect to the world.
Blorg. It seems normal to not want to be alone.
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| A breif history (of time) |
[[ 2006 06 September | 12:32am ]] |
I apologize, been out of touch for a bit there. A lot of things, mainly negative in the financial portion of life, have been happening and been focusing on keeping my head above water and keeping my job, and when lucky having enough to eat. It's a bunch of stuff including such exciting things as 25% wage garnishments, exorborant costs involving cars, and several wonderful gems from four to five years ago popping up their ugly heads.
Saw an interesting segment of Mega Structures on National Geographic this evening regarding the Berlin Wall. At the time it fell I was in Lansing, Michigan at a job as a darkroom technician working my way to becoming a graphic artist. I also remember a scant two years later sitting in fear with my fiance as we invaded Iraq in 1991, hoping I would not be drafted.
At the very end of the segment they showed a shot of red spray-painted words on cement which stated, "The world is too small for walls." And it got me thinking of younger and simpler times.
Any time you look back upon will seem much more simple than the current age. That is just evolution. But at times it is scary how things evolve. Just a scant seventeen years ago the world was in celebration of this cement symbol finally being destroyed, almost four decades of separation chipped into nothingness by tens of thousands of people.
Everything evolves. A few decades ago something as simple as concrete walls, landmines, barb wire, and patrols were enough to hold people in. And now in our wonderfully technologically advanced society the walls are far more subtle. Played out on airwaves. Distributed to the masses.
Mental walls are the hardest to overcome.
And fear is control.
What is the pretty alert color for the day?
I honestly do not care because it is a falacy.
We are at a disadvantage. We are not in control. But you cannot kill an idea. Not everybody will comply and live in repression, secretly hoping to breach that wall to freedom. Be it East Germany circa 1979 or the USA in 2006.
I have always had an interest in things most people tend to push aside because it does not fall into the realms of their particular reality tunnels. Yet there are these Hermetic laws from times past, interestingly the first law is essentially, "reality is democratic".
Well just do the math of the number of citizens in the USA and the rest of the world.
Grab your sledgehammer. Some more walls need to fall.
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[[ 2006 22 June | 02:04am ]] |
Huh, strange.
So yes, still alive and doing the whole living thing. There has been a lot going on. And a lot of thoughts about the past.
May 25th was my one year anniversary at my job. Anybody who follows this knows the backstory so I shall go on to my current life.
I have a good job working for a company that I enjoy. Been promoted, moved up a few times and such in the last year. I have my own place to live. I have been able to replace everything I lost two years ago and have a rather nice place to lay my head down every night, a place of my own. I now have a car and was able to drive up and take Rhiannon out to a movie on Father's day and spend the day with her. I have upgraded my computer, so that she's not sore about being such old tech.
I spend a lot of time, after being isolated for so long, trying to figure out how to re-integrate myself into the world.
But I shall. No worries there.
Until the next time...
--Julien
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| One Year Ago... |
[[ 2006 04 May | 03:07am ]] |
At this point in time, nay 365 days ago, I was unemployed, in an exceedingly dysfunctional relationship, living in Buena Park because a few months earlier that had seemed the best thing to do to be with the girl I had been dating. Life was as crappy as it had been for months or years previous.
May 9 is when I re-entered the workforce at Target, a grueling endeavour involving an hour walk there and back, starting at midnight. May 25 is my one year anniversary at Lunarpages.
And life is grand.
I had actually started typing a list, but the support and help I received from everybody makes such things seem rather disrespectful and self-gratifying. Needless to say, I must thank each of you.
Fast forward a year. I have my own apartment, a decent paying job, and money in the bank to put toward a car. Once I get a car I can get back to my wandering ways and see Rhiannon more often (definitely looking forward to that).
Here's to a new life.
Cheers!!!
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| Family |
[[ 2006 20 April | 02:56am ]] |
About one week ago my uncle, John, died in his sleep.
It is really messed up. Long story short, he had a high school sweetie long ago, whom I met when I was a child, they went their separate ways, over twenty years later they find each other again, get married, buy a ten acre lot about an hour of San Louis Obispo, he designs their dream house, and a guest house in which they live for 1.5 years. They were able to move into the house in October. End of March was their five year anniversary of marriage. One week ago today he died.
Was up there yesterday. Creepy. The computer half assembled , all the other projects around that were in the works. The NetFlix film on the coffee table that had been recently watched awaiting return. His sunglasses sitting on the table near the entryway.
John absolutely changed my life in the summer of 1993 when I had first come out here to visit. He had been working at Intel for a number of years and had mentioned to me that they and other big companies were using this thing called HTML to relay information to their employees and that I should look into learning it. When I got back I bought a four inch thick HTML 1.0 book.
And that pretty much affected the rest of my life.
I took two vacation days off. My father, Jean (technically my step-mom but I was friends with her before they married so hard to see her in that light), and my sister all flew out and we drove up to the ranch on Tuesday.
Well, there is more, much more to write. Some other time.
I am OK. Just worried about Joanie up there alone.
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| Why can't humans be honest how they feel? |
[[ 2006 27 March | 01:00am ]] |
One of the anime's that I have been watching is Shinigami no Ballad, which I have really enjoyed so far. But there were these lines that I so loved. Daniel is a winged cat that accompanies Momo who is a Shinigami...
Daniel: Why can't humans be honest about how they feel?
Momo: It would be easy to understand if they could purr, when they are happy or feeling contentment...
So true.
Nothing much here on the home front / battle front / life thing. Working, saving up for a car. Getting by. In a bit of a blah thing the last few weeks. Not depression, I think it is mainly not having much to do--and no real inspiration to do anything. Having a video store across the street I rented The Island and Mr. and Mrs. Smith--which were both fun to watch. Also got Gaiman's Mirror Mask, but have not watched it yet.
It's all cool though. A year ago I only had a roof over my head and that was it (well other than being involved with a mentally unstable female). Now I have my own place, internet, cell phone, and can even pay electricity. And am really hoping that I have a car soon so I can get back to my wayward club and rather gypsy like existence. Not to mentiion the most important thing, which is being able to see Rhiannon.
I hope that all of you are well.
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| Saint Patrick's Day |
[[ 2006 18 March | 01:39am ]] |
Happy Saint Patrick's Day to all out there!!
Been a long week at work but all is going quite well there. Personal life has been rather uneventful, which has been pleasant. No bad shit or anything. Preventing me from going into a complete hermit like resistance is Christine and her hubby Paul whom I have been hanging out with usually on weekends.
Last weekend her parents invited me over for a dinner party. It was amusing when Christine turned to me in the kitchen and said, "If you had told me ten years ago we would be having a dinner party at my parents with some of my close friends I would have never believed you." Heh, how life does change.
Rhiannon called me this week, she is having a big ballet performance in June, so definitely looking forward to that. And Sue Lee called, it was so damn good to catch up with her. Honestly I would never have made it this far, nor through the current weird stuff, without my Family. Been in touch with an old friend from back in Michigan too.
So yes, St. Patrick's day. When I went by Patrick, near two decades ago, I actually had made a t-shirt with green letters that said "Happy Saint Me Day". So I really had no place to go tonight because La Habra is *sadly* lacking in pubs of any sort. So I spent the day thinking of what I should do to celebrate.
Then I had a wonderful idea. Bought a bunch of cigarettes, then went across the street and bought Boondock Saints, then purchased a good amount of Guinness. Great movie. Listening to Dropkick right now.
Had been thinking of going up to Burbank this weekend, but with the rain and the sheer amount of walking and standing outside to get there have decided not to. Public transit is so messed up. From where I am now I have to take a bus 25 minutes *south*, walk 15 minutes to a bus going north, take that bus an hour, then hop the subway from downtown LA to Universal Studios. Getting up there is fine, but the return trip is always hell. Last time I was stuck in downtown LA for 3 hours because the bus was re-routed (with no notices) and didn't even go by the bus stop I was at. So much fun being stuck there watching people get beaten up, peeing on walls, and hearing many stories of people getting mugs.
Ah well. Wish all of you the best.
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| Fracking Hell... |
[[ 2006 11 March | 12:04am ]] |
Just watched the season finale of Battlestar Galactica.
Damn.
Bravo to the writers and producers for not playing it safe. The last 30 minutes... Damn...
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| Mercury does what?? |
[[ 2006 06 March | 01:58am ]] |
Indeed it was a long week that quite flew by actually. Spent most days after work playing Need for Speed Most Wanted in a bit of an obsessive nature. It is truly an enjoyable game, mixing elements of the last NFS game I played with other elements (cops). Completing a race is difficult enough, but being chased by several police cruisers makes it even more entertaining.
Work has been going quite well. Thursday and Friday I kicked ass and nailed six design jobs. To put this in perspective I had nine total in February. It is a long and involved story that I shall not get into here, but needless to say it is good.
Thursday I got together with Christine and Paul and we had a good evening of discussion. So glad we're hanging out on a regular basis again. There is the aspect that I'm pretty locked away down here behind the orange curtain, more importantly being with Family is important.
I just really wish going up to visit my daughter was not such a bad experience. Do not take that wrong, being with Rhiannon is so important to me. But without a car involves, on the return trip, standing in downtown LA for hours sometimes, where I have seen innocent people get the crap beat out of, and numerous other fun things that could potentially go wrong. I feel like shit not going up there more, but honestly, putting myself in a situation where I could get beat up or robbed makes it kind of hard.
Though there is a part of me that says I am a bad dad for not even trying to overcome that to see my daughter.
Er, good time to tangent.
Went and saw Ultraviolet today. I was horrifically unimpressed with Aeon Flux when I saw it a few weeks ago. It was a bit of a turd that got stuck in my head. Ultraviolet was not the most innovative movie, but it was entertaining and enjoyable. Very comic-bookish but in a good way.
Some things that most people would take for granted. I paid rent ahead of time. I have more than enough money to pay for my cell phone bill and my Internet bill which are due within the week. These are normal day to day things I honestly did not think I would have.
I was frakked out of my mind a few years ago. If it was not for family like Christian, Aaron, and Rob, Randy, Jen & John, Johnice and Raven helping me out financially, giving me a place to stay, to get my sh*t together I would not be here today. Hindsight being 20/20 the whole Kira thing and moving down to the OC may have worked out for the best. Also there is Christine, Sue Lee, River, Erin and Susie. Without all of your support I would not be here today.
Thank you. I am eternally grateful.
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